LETTING GO

 

Glory-Sasikala-Poetry Series

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

Today, my child,

I cry for you once again

not the way I did earlier

when I held you close to keep you safe

swathed in clothes that bore my smell

you could cuddle into, well in the knowledge

that you are Queen and Princess - 

the world yours to rule.

That was when lines did not blur

That was when conquering was just a beguiling smile

to get your way.

Today, it is the demarcation 

between right and wrong

Today I stand not by your side - 

I stand on the other side of the line

anguish in every breath, tears in my eyes

as these arms that held you close and kept you safe

fling you to the winds.

DEFEAT

Glory-Sasikala-Poetry Series

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

Did I, all her manipulative ways

accept, endure, manage

thinking she will, one day

change, realize, be penitent

Or did I, all her manipulative ways

accept, endure, manage

because love is unconditional?

To give up is to prove

love is not unconditional

but that's where I am now -

Driven to the point of no return

I now know I can't do this anymore

I now know I must let her go

I now wish myself well

before I wish her well

Let her go

and

Let me live in peace

 

CYCLONES AND HIGH-SPEED WINDS

Glory-Sasikala-Poetry Series

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

 

Is there rain in my heart?

Do the winds blow willy nilly?

I try to see the sunshine through - I do!

But there's been a meltdown brewing for some time now

Heaven sees me play my game

Sees me pretending I'm alone...only when I’m in the wrong...maybe

Thinking, isn't this the time she must come to us for guidance?

How does it help the cause for her to hide?

But life's been like that, hasn’t it?

The darkest hours buried beneath blankets of blur to keep them from ever surfacing

But surface they do!

Dark hours on Dark Days!

Cyclones and high-speed winds

Threatening a deluge that promises to drown all!

COZY

Glory-Sasikala-Poetry Series

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

Living alone in my cozy bedroom

'stead of fading away, I bloom

'cause everything feels just right

Problems out of mind and out of sight.

Lullaby is the soft rain

Gentle breeze a soothing refrain

Warm and cozy 'neath the covers

I dream of gardens, fruits and flowers

 

THE UNQUIET BURIAL OF THE DEAD HORSE

Glory-Sasikala-Poetry Series

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

Everyone was happy to know

It had worked out!

(It was time to start beating the dead horse)

Congratulations came pouring in 

Like so many drops of refreshing rain

(The dead horse was beaten so many times over!)

There seemed no end to the celebrations

That rang true and sincere

(They meant it - the dead horse deserved a good burial after all...)

If at all there was sadness in any eye

They hurried to hide it

(The dead horse must never guess it was dead)

Ceremonies followed ceremonies

And dreams came true - and how!

(The dead horse wasn't coming back for sure)

They who spoke heaped praises

Lifting to the sky

(Just let me beat the dead horse once more...)

Finally buried with great pomp and fare

beneath flowers and festoons

lay the dead horse pretty much as it were in the beginning...

You can never be "too dead," now, can you?

 

PARADISE LOST AND REGAINED

Glory-Sasikala-Poetry Series

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

 

Look at me

I'm the common denominator

responsible

for all the failed relationships in my life

Not the child molester

or the one who does not hesitate to poison

out of jealousy

Not the bullies

and the narcissists

and the ones who misinterpret

but me - 

the common denominator

that dares to whine

pushing my boat 

farther and farther away

from them all

into deep ocean

till it toppled altogether

and disappeared

Leaving me to find my way to the shore

all alone and gasping for breath.

But look where I am now - 

on a golden beach

looking up at a never-ending blue sky

that turns into millions of twinkling stars at night

Breeze whispering my name.

Look where I am now

Devoid of Drama

Paradise. 

SILENCE SPEAKS

Glory-Sasikasla-Poetry Series

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

 Waves destroyed my sandcastle day before

Carefully constructed yet flimsy - 

Bricks of Love I had not laid in place.

I know now I love the ocean and the waves

more than I do my sandcastle.

Did not cry that it was gone - 

Did not look back.

Dancing waves beckon - 

The crossover is gentle, silent,

and seamless

From beach to ocean.

Gentle waves lapping

On a placid day of morning Sunshine

And cool breeze.

At peace at last, and

one with the Blue.

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER TIME

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I come in goodwill although

my heart has been dead a while now

washed away in the River of Tears.

This then body without a soul

comes in goodwill

extending a hand in friendship

yet the fire burns bright

in the backburner of memory

of the last time we met

under different circumstances

and I had fled for life from you

 

DARK THOUGHTS

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

 

They were there a long time 

in folders

my poets and writers

their work, their lives, their thoughts

and when I'd done compiling and thanking

I deleted them, the folders

to add new ones

but then, I had forgotten a detail

and I clicked Control plus Z, the reverse shortcut keys

and there they were back again

in folders

my poets and writers

their works, their lives, their thoughts

How I wish there were some reverse shortcut keys

to bring back 

all the loved ones I've lost.

LIFE LESSONS

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

 

Watching traffic outside our apartments is like watching life.  I see them come with great confidence and speed and bright lights. I know there are two speed breakers there, and I can see them slow down, literally stop and go over these, then they're travelling...but not fast anymore.  They're slower, more careful, almost floundering when they draw closer to our gates. Beyond our gates, to the right, is the main road and I know they'll pick up speed once they reach there and turn a corner....

TYPES OF PAIN

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There are pains that you can talk about

and share your distress

like the pain of harsh words and actions

the pain of poverty and struggle for survival - which when you overcome, a matter of pride and respect.

Being physically hurt, or

the pain of separation, perhaps?

These pains that one can claim as one's own

and talk about and seek justice

And then, there are the pains that can never be spoken about...

Drunk like poison -

stuck in the throat, turning it blue,

making the systems go haywire.

slowly

slowly

killing you...

 

EMPTY SLATE

 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C2D27V6B

My ink is different

when it dries there will not be invisible messages

the space I occupied will be

just as blank as before I was born

for I've chosen to forgive all 

And to do that

I've chosen to erase my memories

how can I have written anything at all on my slate

when by forgiving time erased itself?

you never hurt me

And I never lived.

She's the red rose girl

She's all the roses in the world

The look in her eyes

asking me why

And honest to God

I did not know

But I could have lied

Instead of watching her die

She will live on long after

the world's long gone

She's the red rose girl

She's all the roses in the world

 

Pink flowers that can never in my garden grow

so wild and with such joyous abandon

He looks over her shoulders at the pretty girl on the platform while

his arms are still around her and perfunctorily smiling

at the something silly she's saying, laughing at "I don't know what she said"

she looks up at him adoringly in a relationship never meant to be

The train moves on...

 

UNQUENCHED

https://www.amazon.in/Glorees-Poems/dp/B0C2D27V6B

We closed account long back, didn't we

when we moved our different ways

or just that maybe skills were lacking then to say

I love you

I want to be with you

What has life taught us since then?

Some better communication skills?

Pronunciations, prepositions...

and a travesty of lies

that if you lace it all back to back

and one by one

lead right back to where it all started

with us still unable to voice our thoughts

with us still waiting.

 

YOU ONCE MORE

Do not blow life into a dead mind

that has not just renounced life but

denied there could be any beauty in it

that when the smallest of fires is lit within

will make the heart beat faster

the butterflies in the stomach flutter

and suddenly there is Sun in every diamond-like dewdrop

the Peepul tree has tender leaves again

the cold refreshing breeze blows through the hair, and

the flowers are fragrant once more...

Yes, do not blow life into a dead mind

that has forgotten how to love

lest it hurt all over again

lest the rains fall, and 

tears never stop flowing

Let the cold winter be

 

IT' SURE FELT RIGHT...

Maybe the rains should not have fallen so hard 

outside the window

the pitter patter of raindrops on leaves

the day slowly darken so early in the morning

the wet sparrows on the railing beneath the red tiles of the roof

shaking out the water and squabbling

maybe we should not have watched them together and smiled

maybe it should not have been so warm and cozy inside the room

or the lights so dim throwing shadows

maybe there should not have been the proximity

that made us look into each others' eyes

throwing out into open the blatant truth we tried so hard to deny

maybe your touch was the warmth I sought on a cold day

your breath in mine, knowing your fragrances for the first time

maybe we should not have kissed and blocked out the world

Maybe it was all a mistake...

 

 

TEACHERS AND THE TAUGHT

Not very fond of teachers, 

and they were never really fond of me. 

All I can remember of my teachers 

(this includes my parents, siblings, husband and kids

 - and sometimes, friends) 

is their hauling me up for something or the other. 

They seemed quite convinced I was edges all over, 

needing trimming and shaping

Did I learn anything from them? 

Have to admit grudgingly, everything I know.

 

EXCUSE ME

 

 

It's my immaturity

My lack of control

How convenient the excuse!

And yet it's true

we are not always 

masters of ourselves

and every act of evil

that fell our way

governed by 

someone's lack of control

or our own.

I WISH

 

I wish Love would conform

to its definition 

of being the most gentle of emotions

of being unconditional, unselfish

understanding, giving

patient and kind

instead of the way

it seeks revenge, competes

desires...lusts

fights, scratches

keeps score and scorns

but all Love seems to know

and say

is no matter what

its here to stay