Sunday, November 11, 2018

I DON'T KNOW WHAT BEFELL ME




i dont know what befell me
my hand slipped on the rungs
one, then two
i dont know what befell me
i had counted wrong
one, then two
i dont know what befell me
i had crossed the lines
one, then two
i dont know what befell me
i lost my rights
one, then two
i dont know what befell me
i broke my wings
one, then two
i dont know what befell me
i lost my soul
one...just one.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

WHAT WRITING IS LIKE



Writing is like

There’s no Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

It's like there's no 1 o’ clock, 2 o’ clock, 3 o’ clock, 4 o’ clock....12 o’ clock.

There's no morning, mid-morning, mid-afternoon, evening...

There's no from 1 pm to 6 pm

‘cause that's the time your brain won't work.

There's no “I can beat this, I can do it,

nothing is impossible”

‘cause writing will go “haaa! haaa! haaaa!!”

as you stare blankly into space.

Writing is like “don't have pets;

You never know when you'll have to walk out on them.”

Writing is like “Don't be regular dude;

if you're gonna do a program every Sunday,

that’s when you're gonna be wanting to write.”

Writing can be so many cups of coffee?

Writing is like your live-in partner who can ditch you anytime but also your One True Love.

Writing is like count backwards up to 5 and you'll get going

so here goes: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zzzzzzzz....

G’night!

Friday, August 17, 2018

DEAR FRIEND



Dear Friend,
You're rather quiet today. 
Is it that you don't know what to say
because I screamed when you spoke?
Did I shut you up for good
or will you find your way through 
into the Sunshine once again?
And when you do that 
will it be with me by your side 
or will you move to another tunnel, 
in an opposite direction?

Maybe the Sunshine will be yours, 
maybe you'll smile again, 
maybe there will be others who see your viewpoint 
and don't scream like a flurried hen. 
But i wonder
if you will turn around
even just for a moment 
wondering at a flitting shadow...?


Friday, August 10, 2018

YOU AM I





I lean against the wall outside - 
an insignificant presence in the shadows
they'd like to ignore
as they strut importantly
down Corridors of Righteousness.

I run excitedly to greet, but
shrink from Cold Eyes.

"We know!" they say
"We belong!"
"We're the Righteous, the Chosen, the Divine
the Sacred, the Pious, the Good, the Belonging!"
they proclaim.

I withdraw to my vigil
outside the gate -
lounging in the shadows
against the wall
as they are anointed
and healed.

Prayers of Thankfulness on their lips now
Celebrations in their smiles
as they compare Badges of Belonging
throwing smiles of triumph and disdain
at me
and yet - 
somehow fearful...

They are gone -
Celebrations now
memories in the wind
autumn leaves falling...

I look up and smile
at you, smiling back
at me.

your one thought -
my one thought -
Never Goodbye.

Monday, June 25, 2018

HOOPLA RINGS


i threw hoopla rings -
one to snare you
one circle, one point.

you threw one
by being charming

the third circle
was a smile at someone else
remember?

three circles
as you walked away

mine was the next throw - 
an offering

you threw one
it went astray

i threw one
it fell at your feet
i saw you pick it up
tenderly

two circles -
one for each
as we threw back our heads and laughed

we've run out of hoopla rings now
'cause i threw one of disdain
and you threw
one of pride

it’s time to move on....



I LIVE



in just outside the clock
along the periphery of your dreams
an invisible line in picture frames
as a criss-cross in your hand
in a story never to be told
in just an intake of breath
in fading ink of yellow parchment paper
in a fleeting knowledge of your soul
in the realms of the Universe
where I am with God
looking down upon you
in a dream 
that vanishes like mist with the dawn
in a sudden lightning moment of truth
in the knowing smile with which I left you
once again to your mundane existence
I Live.




Friday, June 22, 2018

BURIED ALIVE



In the graveyard of the buried alive
she screamed and groaned...
moaned
and they sighed...
another one
to tell a story

It was the best day of my life (she said)
there from my coffin
in my best clothes
mascara, rouge and lipstick -
I could hear them praise me soft and low
twas pure bliss!
people in black and mourning
with nothing but good to say of me
highlighting my achievements
played down my bad
and I had been waiting
my whole life for this!

and then they were there
these people in black
my friends, foes
and I don't knows
kissing me on my forehead
bidding me goodbye
hardly aware that i was screaming
silently - no one heard my cry

my mind registered bouquets
a malicious eye or two
some tears spilt to wet my face
a whispered word from you

and then they gently closed the lid
and nailed it into place
and lowered me down by ropes
down into the hole
and threw mud upon my face.

hey! 'don't do that!' i cried from where within
i could hear the muddy rain
but bury me they did and an epitaph -
"Buried alive - never to be heard of again!"

Monday, May 21, 2018

EROTICA



Darkness merging with light
The blue opalescence of fear
Giving way to crimson blush...
Droplets of perspiration
On velvet soft skin….
Swirling skirts
And sidelong glances.

The comforting warmth
Of cupped palms
Fingers in feather-light strokes
On strands.......skimming curved surfaces.
A thousand ripples
Of electrified response…

All is still
In heated response
Beating down, cruel and crushing
Draining, draining.....
Not a thought left
In those heated senses.

Flying Home,
A descending peace
A settling down
In the crook of the arm
In an aftermath
Of complete satisfaction.

The continuity
Of dreamless darkness
Where two souls
Merge as one
Neverendingly
In ecstasy…



Friday, May 18, 2018

JUST FRIENDSHIP


He called it 'just friendship'
She said I agree with you
They hung around together
All the time and time just flew

He styled his hair the way she liked
'Twas for her that he wore that shirt
And when she fell in love
With someone else
He wondered why it hurt?


Monday, May 14, 2018

OFFICE BLUES


In the stillness
Someone coughed
Someone yawned
Boss on phone
He – 
Control A
Control C
Control V
Copy-pasting
My thoughts
In his diary.
The whirring fan
My ice-cold 
stare
Blank at screen
Her tinkling laughter
jarrs on my tired brain
Switch off.
Time to go home...

Monday, April 9, 2018

WHERE DID THE LAKE GO?


Bulrushes by the lake
What are you?
Tiny bird on bulrush, where did you come from?
Sunrise, Sunset, all shimmering ripples now
that my feet send out swinging as I sit
on the dhobi-stone.
He washes clothes, he beats them
He stomps on them for hours
Varicose veins bulging
He, the lake, the clothes
and the expanse of sky.
He has forgotten how to speak
I try to teach him as he stomps.
How long? Where is your house? Does your leg ache?
He does not answer
But he is not there now – 
gone to eat silently the food his wife has prepared
and black out in bed.
And I swing my legs in the water
seated on the dhobi-stone.
Little fish kiss my feet
A little hanky thrown in
yields a small fish-fortune.
But slowly, slowly the glorious Sunset
overwhelms me as I watch the grand show
so taken for granted because it is free,
because it is there.
As clouds turn light pink, dark pink, then roll and fade away,
rays disbanding in a fire play.
The trees, their branches reaching out to the waters
their leaves closing.
Birds that hurry home, the incessant chatter
as they settle down.
Now silence prevails
In a dark night.
The lights from the hangars reflect in the lake.
Far away, on the island, the old man and his son swing a lantern
and lo! it is the Smiling Moon herself!

I see all these things in my mind's eyes
as I stand where the lake was,
trying to reconcile the multi-storey apartments now
that have replaced the irreplaceable.


Tuesday, February 20, 2018

SOMEONE IS LIVING IN MY PURSE!



someone slipped into my handbag
i knew then sadness
a wet hanky
my bad hair day
they handed me a comb
they exchanged chocolates 
i'd sprayed into the bag
i found the wrappers in a corner
the tissue papers had messages in them
someone had drawn a moustache
on my pics
my credit cards were overdrawn
i swear i did not see them leave
but i found a new diamond ring
it lay beneath the wet hanky
i was washing clothes when i should have been jogging
my day list was all screwed up
someone's living in my purse
someone and someone and someone
and they're living me my life.

Monday, January 29, 2018

PERSPECTIVES



she sat besides a homeless man
and said the vaasthu isn't good
and you know how my stomach aches
when i eat too much food
and all my kids are married
and all my kids are good
and my life is one big blessing
for god besides me stood
and saw me through all troubles
and all my joy he doubles
for i have been so good.

the homeless man he looked
and said i have no home
sometimes i eat, sometimes i starve
most times the world i roam
i have no kids to think of
no penny to buy a comb
my clothes are barely held up
the bin might be my tomb
but, dear lady, to your god i'll sing
such beauteous songs and herald ring
for i live still 'neath the dome.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

ON A NON-DEPRESSIVE NOTE


(Note: Depression is a disease and this poem is not to make light of it.  This poem is for depression as a mood - not a chronic illness)

Hey there!
When you feel you've seen it all
and nothing impresses you anymore 
come to me
Let's get excited about those  priceless little things
like a sea-shell
like the waves
like digging up some potatoes
like facing the wind
like dancing a little jig
like checking patterns on leaves
like catching fish and letting them go
like watching a sunset
like being awestruck by the mountains
like chasing a butterfly
like a baby's hand in yours
like running after the horizon
like just smelling a flower deeply
like you mother's home-made jam

Hey there! Do you find all this very 'childish'?
They're much better than the box of pills
you're reaching for.




Monday, January 15, 2018

ON NON-ROLLER SKATES


hey! i didn't put on any roller skates
and yet i've skidded all over the place!
one stop New Year
Happy New Year, hey!
come to my wedding...
wedding slipped into a birthday
long-lost and well-loved faces loom -
they smile and sing happy birthday
and i smile back and promise to keep in touch
and i'm aware there's something wrong
someone is not happy for me
someone thinks i...
someone...but hey!
it's time to go back
now, for sometime, a semblence of mundane
but you've won a prize
YOU'VE WON A PRIZE
Uh...Uh...yes, I've won a prize
I'm tired, I'm breathless
Hang on a second!
while I digest that 
piece of information
oh...
oh yes, "I'VE WON A PRIZE!!'
Yey!!! But hey!
Don't give it to me yet
I've gotta a death anniversary coming up
the tenth one
I can't laugh, I can't celebrate
I must cry
and you must wait till I'm done crying before I say
Yey! again, but only this time
I know, we've won a prize

I look down the road of 2018 now
Alarmed at the pace at which it's moving
and I still don't have roller skates on!
Tomorrow I join a new job
day after, I publish a magazine
Sometime I shall breath too
and before I can say, "Hallelujah!" 2018 will be done.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

THRESHOLD THOUGHTS - 2018


those old ways that repeat themselves
proving people don't change
what changes are circumstances
what does not change is the way
people react to circumstances
if people changed the way they react -
what a change that would be!