A GAME OF NON-LOVE

you shuffle a pack of cards

and deal

and i pick up

and we play

the game of assumptions

you assume i am yours

so i tell you i am yours

and wait to hear you

never say

you are mine

you assume i love you

so i tell you i love you

and wait to hear you

never say

i love you too

you assume i am hurt

so to tell you i am hurt

and wait to hear you

never say

i'm sorry

you assume we're together

so i say we're together

and wait to hear you 

never say

we're together

and then...

you assume we're done

so i tell you we're done

and wait to hear you...

never say

we're done.

and so...the game goes on

you assuming, i presuming

two lovers in a pack

one a clover, one a spade

not a single heart in the stack.

THE RE-SET BUTTON

Somewhere in her

there is a re-set button - 

have you seen it?

She was doing well 

when she married you

and then, one day, you woke up

and everything went haywire -

she was there sometimes

and sometimes she wasn't.

She came, she went,

She came, she went,

She smiled...but her smile faded into sadness...

There were no tears, mind you!

And so, you thought that

she'll come back.

But, one day, you woke up - 

and she wasn't there!

You called. You tried to recall what went wrong?

You called again, and they askedd, "Did you do the re-set?"

"Re-set? re-set! What re-set??"

"The re-set button to her heart...to her feelings - 

Start all over again

Tell her you love her; tell her till she knows;

tell her she's the only one.

Woo her with flowers; take her out to dinner;

show her that

you may not be perfect, but,

you will still try!

Show her...because she matters.

Show her - till she knows.

Re-set the button

till the green light glows!"

FLIGHTY IMAGINATION

harnessing never worked
there was always a hitch
the lid didn’t fit
there was less weight
they flew before you knew it
bringing back was a pain
look, i'm trying again!
there's a sentinel at the door
but sometimes he will snore
closed eyelids, there's sleep inside
and now by my timing i abide
take off once more!
life should have taught me lessons
your plate is full
speaking volumes already
trays overflowing
they're heavy already
but harnessing is hard
one thought leads to another
and i'm in full flight once again
to my imagination giving rein.

THE DOOMED LOVERS

He stood there leaning over,
With arm against darkened tree,
While she ran across, light and swift,
Anxious – and yet glad to be free.

He stood there admiring,
The golden sunset,
Yet turned sharply at the sound
Of her tinkling anklet.

Stopped short in full flight
She looked into his eyes,
Sheer joy of beholding!
And in his arms in a trice!

The Sunset and chirping birds,
Their charm failed to hold,
As she was his, and he was hers,
In their completed world.

And smiling understandingly,
The Sun did go down,
And gentle, smiling Moon cast spell,
In moonlight their love to drown.

The firmly rooted tree,
With protective branches, was their mother.
Guarding from wicked, grinning night eyes,
Them – made for each other.

Separating for a moment,
He said, “My precious love,
I’m sure no couple like us,
Forever and for now.”

“Yes!” she agreed heartily,
“How perfectly we blend!
Heart for heart! Soul for soul!
With nothing to amend!”

“Such a wondrous union I’m sure
In Heaven can’t be found,
If found, some flaw in them,
Some discord, I’ll be bound.”

“Oh dear! I do wonder,
What would happen then to us?
Should God look down and see our love,
And turn quite jealous.

Then such a rumble sounded,
That both looked up in fright,
The Heavens parted into two,
And lit up the dark night!

A lethal ray came flying,
And struck upon their head,
And within moments of their saying,
The lovers lay there dead.

ABI, WHERE ARE YOU?

abi, where are you?
i talked to you the day
i fell off the ladder
and sprained my ankle
i had to let you know
i was in pain
abi, you were there then
not saying anything
just being there
not holding my hand
just listening
abi, the rains are here
it's cloudy time
the baby crows are falling off the trees
i wish i could house them all
all i can do is put out some grains
abi, my ankle is fine
i jog everyday
abi, i can't lose weight
my thyroid troubles me
abi, how are you?
did i care
how you were?
or did i just talk about myself
all the time
abi, i know you're listening still
just let me know if you will
and maybe we'd catch up 
and stay in touch
me talking a lot!
you - not so much.

BRIGHTEST STAR

someone in a million

who has the same dream

just walked a step more

walked a mile more

walked even further

walked all the way

someone in a million

worked night and day

till someone had all the other stars outshone

and when we looked up, we looked at the sky

and said, "Oh my!

Look! a new star is born!"

PATTERNS OF COMPLETENESS

In a humdrum world

of human noises

we tango

A Give and Take

A Throw and Catch

A Yes and No

A This and That.

Moving apart

To come together.

The Sun, Moon, and Stars

Are some tunes

We dance to.

Falling is not a pain.

Bruises are not some hurts.

Thoughts and actions but

experiences.

Sometimes,

compatibility is a silence

and aloneness is a together.

Parting then too

is a stitch 

in the pattern of completeness

and letting go remains

another way to hold.

STILL RAINING...

I can hear the pitter-patter over the tiles 

of the small room that houses 

the watchman's meager belongings

the plop as a drop fell off my window pane

the gurgling through the pipes overflowing

someone is walking with gumboots

one step at a time

through the water pool that's accumulated

outside my front door

and I can gauge the amount of water 

by the sound of water between each step

how long it has rained 

by when the chorus of mating frogs begins

Ah, on this dark night

Rain my sole companion

curled up in bed

and from within the comfort of my blankets

I hear the pitter-patter, plops and drops

as it rains all night.

RAPE

You were disbelieving, 
were you not?
In your innocence
You never imagined
Such things could happen
They weren't real.
Those near and dear to you
Were neither so near
Nor so dear.
Your screams echoed through empty skies
Birds flew away.
The wind blew hard
And branches swayed
Mother Earth smothered your terrified cries
Your body you realize
Is not a temple
Because there is no God.
Lowered to a commodity
Your body is not your own
One last thought remains
Mother, where are you?
The red rivulet
From your nostril
Declares
Nothing remains.

SOFT WHISPERS

As I lie down on the grass,
And the scented breeze goes on its spree,
As I doze amidst these flowers,
Who is it whispers to me?

As I, on this noon day tide,
Seek the cool shade of a tree,
In this stillness far and wide,
Who is it whispers to me?

Far away in the deep blue sky,
The white puffs travel all so free,
And I lie and close my eyes,
Yet who is it whispers to me?

Then on a moonlit night so bright,
Softly lighting on the lee,
Gently mocking my daily fight,
Who is it whispers to me?

I shut my eyes and ears so tight,
And then I think that I am free,
Yet He who loves me day and night,
He it is whispers to me.

When too busy to stop and think,
When I from my tasks do shirk and shrink,
Dear God, give me that I hear your voice,
Amidst this world's chaotic noise.

KODAI POEM

Mona,

how did you know 

there was still life 

beneath the ashes?

my dark grey skies

are sleepless nights - 

the many that have passed

a guarantee that life is short,

is meaningless

unless I gave it meaning.

somedays i could put my feet 

on the ground

and write on a blank paper

somedays, i just stare at a wall badly in need of paint.

this one time, you said

and i decided, this one time

i shall let that unruly child out again

who had been taught so well by life not to laugh.

this one time

i shall forget lessons of a lifetime

and let that Goblin peep...

she danced!

she sang!

she pranced!

she wanted to dig a potato?

she wanted to throw a fish into the lake?

she wore crazy tourist hat and glasses?

The Gamin is now back in the box

but I can feel her presence in me

In the form of two devilishly bright eyes

grinning and shining in the dark....  

DOWN MY LANE

Down my lane

there are no strings

there are no 'musts'

it's your space

to be who you are - 

uncompromising

and uncompromised,

you breathe deeply

taking in freedom

with every breath.

Down my lane

there is secularism

where your chants and mantras

sit amicably by my rosaries

and I will not judge you

for  who you are

but seek to understand

what is it you need

what is it you're trying to say

'cause down my lane

is a life 

where there is only you

and your dreams.

PERFECT BLEND

my eyes meet yours 

in a perfect fit

my breathing in 

your breathing out

balanced in your warmth

my cold

my convexes

to your concaves

our four feet in one direction

synchronized disagreements

our smiles stretch

and go full circles

my entangled curls

around your face

and I wonder

where do you begin

and I end?

MARITAL DISBLISS

A seven-year itch

Has set in our marriage

Unable to tolerate each other

A cry for breathing space.

Love gone stale?

Like withered leaves

That fall off strong branches

With strength and resource in them to rejuvenate

A colourful spring

Hidden beauty of our brown Earth

Where all colours come from.

I would like to go to Moonar

On a honeymoon all by myself

With my poetry along for company

And think longingly of my husband at home

And miss him, and cry for him, and crave for him

So when I return, I will be a good wife

Noncrabby, nonnagging, nonnasty

Sobered and steady and ready to appreciate

And listen as he speaks of football matches and Governmental statistics.

MY POETRY CHAIN

I pick the ripple off the rivulet

The hope from birds’ eggs

The lush green off the forest firs

The speed off horses’ legs

The scent off the dewy rose

The blueness off the skies

The velvet off a puppy’s nose

The colors off butterflies

I pick the majesty off the mountain

The fire off the Sun

The wetness off the monsoon rain

The silver off the Moon

The warmth off a friendship

The core off a heart in love

The mother’s cloak of protection

The Saint’s reverence for God above

I pick the sweat off workers’ brows

Those beads of daily gain

And string them all into my verse

To make my Poetry Chain!

IN A CROWD

The cars sped,
traffic policeman
screams, screeches, halts
ragamuffin pestering me to buy flowers
mother tugs at my arm
come on! let's go!
the street lights are on
the guffaw of chai-drinking men
sounding bawdy jokes
the strange sense of deja vu prevails...
have I been here before?
same place, same people
 I turn in your direction
looking up to where you stand
devouring me with your eyes...

NARCISSUS

Everything is unto me. 

Even the eclipse. 

It could have come to predict my own predicament. 

If I don't have one, I will create one - just for the eclipse. 

And you know, those people in the corner shop? 

They're talking only about me. 

And that man, oh...I think he's going to say, "I love you!" 

If he isn't thinking that why is he looking at me that way.?

Why is he commenting like that on facebook? 

Ooooohhh!! 

Everything is about me. 

Yes, even the tides. 

Did you know the tide that went out took my happiness with it?

Yes! It came only for that. 

The stars, the moon, the sky, 

- and my boss.

Did you know he singled me out? 

He singled me out to find faults. 

What does that tell you? 

He likes singling me out. 

I tell you, everything is rigged. 

Everything is about me.

THE EMPTY BOX

It's an Empty Box.

We emptied it

Carefully

Because it’s time

We moved on with our lives

And there's no place in that

For a 'you and I'.

So, slowly there were

No tea times together

No talk times

No returned calls

No messages

No visits

No friendly handshakes

No shared laughter.

Heaped insults instead

And refusals

And deliberate misunderstandings

And scorn.

Till a day came

When we both knew

That the box was empty.

So empty

That we should have felt no qualms

When we sealed it tight

And decided to throw it away

Once and for all.

But then we looked at each other

Eyes bright with unshed tears

pleading

"Just a little while more"

And the box remains

Not empty at all...

WHAT MAKES YOU TICK?

now that i like you,
let me rip you apart
and see what makes you tick.
are you a freak
that you go to maniacal levels
to do something?
(what makes you tick?)
or are you ambitious
that you want to rule the world?
(what makes you tick?)
do you love me?
if you did, wouldn't you...
(what makes you tick?)
if you don't love me,
are you playing games
with my heart,
you nasty little...!!! # ** 
(what makes you tick?)
look, suppose i make a bargain
will you change your ways?
(what makes you tick?)
you're a woman
and all women are...
(what makes you tick?)
let me give you a bone
and see if you will take it
(what makes you tick?)
if i looked at another woman, then perhaps??
(what makes you tick?)
it's important that i know
what makes you tick
cause i have to dismantle you
and throw you away.

WHERE EVEN EAGLES DON'T DARE

In the silent place in my mind -
you don't exist

your narrow, four-lined
square, boxed
suffocating point of view 
does not exist

your inability to comprehend 
any world beyond that
does not exist

your funny little 
self-righteous speeches
from there
don't exist

your rigid rules
of shoulds and should nots
don't exist

your presumptuous
misnomer
as grandeur
your pomposity 
does not exist

your crooked sadistic jokes
that thankfully 
I don't get
don't exist

your unquenchable wrath
at my freed soul
flying high.......high!!!
and your helpless inability to control 
me
does not exist

'Cause in that little space in my mind
is a laugh
of unbridled mirth
at your childish 
and futile efforts
to chase shadows
and try to conquer
the UNCONQUERABLE.

CHERRY BLOSSOM

For a moment,

Let me step out of my mask

and intellectual cap

and allow

those insecurities

and vulnerabilities

to show in my eyes.

For once

let me be myself -

a child-woman

as tender

as a petal

of cherry blossom.

made for love

before

I don my mask

and intellectual cap

and brace myself

to face the world.

MAYA

Thank you
For welcoming me into your world
That will never be mine -
For that glimpse of a Heaven
Ruled by a different Sun.

I've tried to so hard 
To splinter my brain
In twos and threes
To help hallucinate 
A reality
Even striving foolishly
To preserve and treasure
The stagnant waters 
Of your precious misquotes.
Collecting gratefully
Your impersonally distributed
Bits of happiness
And calling them my own.

My mind has sought
To reflect yours
In silhouettes of 
Considered possibilities.

Wheels move after wheels
And some more wheels follow
On parallel lines of different destinations - 
And yet
We still persist in following
Step by step
Step by step
This confusing math
Of miscalculations.

SEDUCTION

Leave it.
The game of love burns!
In the encroaching space
Of that hut
A storm within and without
The wick turned low
Casting ominous shadows

Deceptive
The tongues of flame
Disguised as they are
As your lily-white purity
Your pristine virginity
Your baffling innocence.
Your eyes so dark
And all too big for your face.

I keep against the wall
Against the dancing shadows
Just out of reach
Of those flicking arrows -
But your freed soul
Is a forest fire
Burning all
Only aware of your own desire -
Child-like, reaching out
Enveloping, engulfing.

I cannot escape.
 Hovering now on the brink
Of Life and Death
A bright light beckons
Light without heat
Benign, well-known shadows
Welcome.  I smile
A gentle smile and give up.
And give in
To the all-consuming lethargy.
The flame flickers
One last time
And dies……..

Forever.

My soul, a thread of white smoke.
The Sunrise now
The Hand
That lights my pyre.